Are You A Competitive Parent? Part 4

Ok – here is part 4.

 

The previous 3 "arenas" were:

 

1 – Education

2 – Toilet Training and Weaning

3 – Sports

 

birthday partyThe 4th arena of competitive parenting is Parties!

 

  • birthday parties
  • any rite of passage that comes with an expected party like a quinceanera, bar/bat mitzvah

 

 

These events can get very spendy what with gift bags, décor, and food.

 

pony rideThey can be bowling or pool parties, or trips to amusement parks or having clowns and pony rides come to your home.

 

And when the child is older, as in a bar or bat mitzvah it can be an event at a hotel with a sit down dinner, music and gala happenings.


Do the kids enjoy these? Yes and no – it mostly depends on their age. 

 

Very young children can be overwhelmed by the huge event and number of people.

 

Teens at bar and bat mitzvahs and quinceaneras probably enjoy the fun and attention.

 

Do parents enjoy these? Not always. It can be a lot of work – even for a modest party.

 

Do the adult guests enjoy them?  At the time, yes, but often they can hardly remember the individual event when each tends to blend into the previous and next….

 

All this can lead to more and bigger so that “your” event is memorable!

 

I'm not saying any of this is bad – but what is the message you are sending to your child? Or to your guests?

 

And guests? What message do you take from it?

 

If it is to only think of how you can out-do the one you are at – you are competing!

 

If it gives you good ideas for yours? Go with it!


Thoughts? Comments? Thank you.

About the author

Lynn Dorman, Ph.D.

  • Melinda says:

    I try to keep things simple for birthday parties..not sure what we will do for the Baptism celebration that should be happening in the next year or so. There is a temptation to go all out, but my gut feeling is that should be resisted. We’ll have to take into account what my son wants. Thanks for a great post/series.

    • Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. says:

      Thank you for your comment – it is hard to make this “celebration” decision but ultimately we all have to do what we think best for our kids [and our wallets.] I tend to go with what the “gut” says 🙂

      Glad you enjoyed the series

      Lynn


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