what I do instead

Written By Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. | Musings | 2 Comments

It’s THAT time of the year — again [sigh]

My inbox and social media feeds are filled with mail/posts selling me on the advantages of:

planners
courses about planning
products on how to use AI to make my year “better” “great” “etc.”
health-related info on starting the year off the “right” way
making resolutions [personal and business]
and more…

Except for the AI which is sort of new this year — the posting and the emails are the same every December and January.

But last year some of it started back earlier in the Fall because everyone knows:

“I have to get your attention about January 2024 in the middle of the summer or early fall or else you won't buy my product.”

It’s fine if you do the above - and even better if making resolutions works for you…

I no longer make them.

I used to.

I’d read a lot of that “how to succeed” stuff, that “guru” stuff, that “my friends say this works” stuff, and would make a list of what I would accomplish in the upcoming year….

Then at some point during the year, I’d look at my resolution list and laugh [or cry] as so little of it ever got done! Or done with any degree of consistency.

So I stopped making New Year resolutions. It seemed to not be good for my mental health OR my productivity. My brain doesn't like lists!!

I've discovered that I am not alone. Many, if not most, people did not follow theirs either.

Especially these:

"I am going to exercise every day” resolution or “I am going to lose X pounds this year” or “I am going to lose 5 pounds a month.”

And work-related resolutions?

The “I will write a post a day,” or “I will write a book before Summer,” or I will do X by Y time frame.

Ditto the very popular “I will be making $XXX a month by the end of March or April” type of resolution.

These resolutions generally do not work.

Why? We tend to set impossible resolutions or standards for ourselves. They are often more wishful thinking than actual planned-out behaviors. Not sticking to these resolutions may make us feel like failures so early in the new year, and yes, the ad people play into this guilt.

Watch ads early in the year and note those aimed at making us feel guilt and shame over NOT keeping resolutions. They may not be direct, but they are aimed at guilt making!!

my insteads

With two major professional degrees and several accolades, I know I am not a failure.

I actually CAN and DO accomplish things - but I have ceased the resolution-type thinking and adopted a more casual approach to my life. It took some hard work on my part to re-think the business/life model that keeps telling us we “need” to make a yearly, monthly, daily plan… or else!

I choose "or else"

Opting for the “or else” works for me!

Every choice can be the “correct way!"

I let my mind wander!

I now enjoy late December/early January as we get an added minutes of daylight every afternoon.

I use this light/dark scenario to reflect, have fun, and think about my work - but not make any of this into resolutions,
to-do lists, or anything tightly scheduled!

I do a non-journal kind of journaling

I call it my mental meandering but it’s more like a brain dump. This is one activity I do most every day but without the “I must do it” kind of thinking, so I often don't do this. And that’s okay!

Apple has made this easier for me as they released a journal app and I have started using that app - but still not every day - I figure a few days a week [maybe] works for me.

OY OY OY

My computer stopped working.
The hard drive crashed.
I have all my work on it.
I am totally stressed out.

What do I do to survive all this stress?

###########

We now live in a high-tech culture.

Technology is part of our everyday lives.

our worl is technology

We use computers.
We have Wi-Fi all over the place!
We have iPads and tablets.
We have iPhones and smart phones.

Many of us work online, bank and pay bills online, communicate online, and generally love the technology available to us.

That is until it does not work.

ISPs stop working, or work so slowly that they are useless.

Programs don’t do what we thought they should do.

And then there is the:

“OMG – my hard drive crashed!”

Any of the above issues, especially the last one, can lead to stress – so we have to figure out how to cope with that stress – preferably planning for it ahead of time.

Why? Because technology issues are a part of our lives.

Having had many hard drives crash over the years, you’d think I’d have learned to back up but I never did. I only made copies of some of my writings.

But the last time I bought a computer, I bought a Mac laptop. Laptops are more prone to issues because they can get dropped, they can get stolen and they can get things bumped into them, etc.

Especially if you have pets.

When I got the new computer, I actually bought a years worth of a backup plan called Crashplan. When you buy such a plan, it is with the hope that you never ever have to use it and see if it really works.

So when my “OMG the hard drive crashed” happened, I was sort of stress-ready.

Having read good things about Crashplan, a bulk of my stress was alleviated because I knew that all of what had been on my computer was somewhere up there in the “cloud.” [Fingers crossed.]

yoga

But a dead hard drive is still stressful. So to get more calmed down, I did some yoga and meditating. I also took my puppy on a few walks and talked to my son and a friend…. And vocalizing the stress helped.

It all came down to this…I kept telling myself that there really was nothing else for me to do…the worst-case scenario was that I’d have to start all that work all over again.

The ending?

I picked up the computer and started the restore process.

A few glitches and errors on my part and it was working – slowly [ISP issues] – but working.

Then many [many, many] hours later, the message was on my screen that my restore was done.

Everything was restored to where it had been…amazing technology!

All in the clouds…… cloud storage

That I was tired for a few days after this was a signal that I had been more stressed than I thought….so more yoga, more puppy walks, and more relaxing in the sun was called for….

Lessons learned…you need:

back up plans
yoga
healthy eating
great tech support
great customer service
patience

Thoughts? Comments?

Thank you…

Do you make resolutions? Do they work for you? Or if not - what do you do - if anything? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

I learned to back everything up the hard way. After a huge loss of info, I finally decided to do regular scheduled backups. There’s nothing worse than finding out your hard drive crashed. We get so used to technology, we sometimes forget how to live without it. Great insight.

Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. says:

07/01/2013 at 7:37 am

Sarah- thanks for the comment. Yes, we do forget how to love without technology and I had further reminders when after the fix, I could not connect to the Internet..and needed yet another fix…I actually had to be offline and do other things.
Lynn

Technology, Stress, and Backup Plans

what I do instead

my insteads

I choose "or else"

I let my mind wander!

And then there is the:

“OMG – my hard drive crashed!”

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