what I do instead

Written By Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. | Musings | 0 Comments

It’s THAT time of the year — again [sigh]

My inbox and social media feeds are filled with mail/posts selling me on the advantages of:

planners
courses about planning
products on how to use AI to make my year “better” “great” “etc.”
health-related info on starting the year off the “right” way
making resolutions [personal and business]
and more…

Except for the AI which is sort of new this year — the posting and the emails are the same every December and January.

But last year some of it started back earlier in the Fall because everyone knows:

“I have to get your attention about January 2024 in the middle of the summer or early fall or else you won't buy my product.”

It’s fine if you do the above - and even better if making resolutions works for you…

I no longer make them.

I used to.

I’d read a lot of that “how to succeed” stuff, that “guru” stuff, that “my friends say this works” stuff, and would make a list of what I would accomplish in the upcoming year….

Then at some point during the year, I’d look at my resolution list and laugh [or cry] as so little of it ever got done! Or done with any degree of consistency.

So I stopped making New Year resolutions. It seemed to not be good for my mental health OR my productivity. My brain doesn't like lists!!

I've discovered that I am not alone. Many, if not most, people did not follow theirs either.

Especially these:

"I am going to exercise every day” resolution or “I am going to lose X pounds this year” or “I am going to lose 5 pounds a month.”

And work-related resolutions?

The “I will write a post a day,” or “I will write a book before Summer,” or I will do X by Y time frame.

Ditto the very popular “I will be making $XXX a month by the end of March or April” type of resolution.

These resolutions generally do not work.

Why? We tend to set impossible resolutions or standards for ourselves. They are often more wishful thinking than actual planned-out behaviors. Not sticking to these resolutions may make us feel like failures so early in the new year, and yes, the ad people play into this guilt.

Watch ads early in the year and note those aimed at making us feel guilt and shame over NOT keeping resolutions. They may not be direct, but they are aimed at guilt making!!

my insteads

With two major professional degrees and several accolades, I know I am not a failure.

I actually CAN and DO accomplish things - but I have ceased the resolution-type thinking and adopted a more casual approach to my life. It took some hard work on my part to re-think the business/life model that keeps telling us we “need” to make a yearly, monthly, daily plan… or else!

I choose "or else"

Opting for the “or else” works for me!

Every choice can be the “correct way!"

I let my mind wander!

I now enjoy late December/early January as we get an added minutes of daylight every afternoon.

I use this light/dark scenario to reflect, have fun, and think about my work - but not make any of this into resolutions,
to-do lists, or anything tightly scheduled!

I do a non-journal kind of journaling

I call it my mental meandering but it’s more like a brain dump. This is one activity I do most every day but without the “I must do it” kind of thinking, so I often don't do this. And that’s okay!

Apple has made this easier for me as they released a journal app and I have started using that app - but still not every day - I figure a few days a week [maybe] works for me.

image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

I have often said I go into hibernation from about Thanksgiving

until my birthday, which is near the end of January.

In retrospect, I think my hibernation started in early November with the election. It was high stress, getting dark out early, and light out late, plus all the political events that were like watching the train wreck that I could not take my eyes off.

Around inauguration day, I decided that there was no point in trying to do very much in January. I thought I'll just let the month go on and not try to focus on anything in the way of writing or teaching - or anything-ing until February. It just seemed to my brain that January had to run its course and go away. It did. On January 30 I made a sticky note for my desktop and it says:

2021 RESTART = INGING

Yogaing
Walking
Biking
Writing
Teaching
Podcasting
Webinaring

It's a lot of ing words. And not all of them are English as I made some up by adding ing - but you get the point

Ing words are movement oriented - they are about something in motion, something that is going to happen or is happening. That's where my mind went about February 1. January was ending and I could restart ...

As I said in the title fill in the blank - is it a restart of 2021? is it a restart of my professional life? or a restart of ???

image by StockSnap from Pixabay

I started my day with yogaing - which I used to do regularly but have not during my hibernation. It felt good to do that kind of stretching. Then I started doing some writing. I also went through my emails and unsubscribed from several that I have not been looking at as I've just been deleting as they arrive in my inbox. That felt good too and it is an ing that was not on my list.

Soon it will be February 2, 3, 4, etc. - and I will continue this restart as it feels like my brain can get wrapped around it and enjoy it. I'm thinking that once I start getting into more of these ings, I will be adding to the list and doing more and more restarting.

image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

Comments? Thoughts?

Thank you!

Do you make resolutions? Do they work for you? Or if not - what do you do - if anything? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

Restarting [fill in this space]

what I do instead

my insteads

I choose "or else"

I let my mind wander!

I have often said I go into hibernation from about Thanksgiving

until my birthday, which is near the end of January.

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