what I do instead

Written By Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. | Musings | 0 Comments

It’s THAT time of the year — again [sigh]

My inbox and social media feeds are filled with mail/posts selling me on the advantages of:

planners
courses about planning
products on how to use AI to make my year “better” “great” “etc.”
health-related info on starting the year off the “right” way
making resolutions [personal and business]
and more…

Except for the AI which is sort of new this year — the posting and the emails are the same every December and January.

But last year some of it started back earlier in the Fall because everyone knows:

“I have to get your attention about January 2024 in the middle of the summer or early fall or else you won't buy my product.”

It’s fine if you do the above - and even better if making resolutions works for you…

I no longer make them.

I used to.

I’d read a lot of that “how to succeed” stuff, that “guru” stuff, that “my friends say this works” stuff, and would make a list of what I would accomplish in the upcoming year….

Then at some point during the year, I’d look at my resolution list and laugh [or cry] as so little of it ever got done! Or done with any degree of consistency.

So I stopped making New Year resolutions. It seemed to not be good for my mental health OR my productivity. My brain doesn't like lists!!

I've discovered that I am not alone. Many, if not most, people did not follow theirs either.

Especially these:

"I am going to exercise every day” resolution or “I am going to lose X pounds this year” or “I am going to lose 5 pounds a month.”

And work-related resolutions?

The “I will write a post a day,” or “I will write a book before Summer,” or I will do X by Y time frame.

Ditto the very popular “I will be making $XXX a month by the end of March or April” type of resolution.

These resolutions generally do not work.

Why? We tend to set impossible resolutions or standards for ourselves. They are often more wishful thinking than actual planned-out behaviors. Not sticking to these resolutions may make us feel like failures so early in the new year, and yes, the ad people play into this guilt.

Watch ads early in the year and note those aimed at making us feel guilt and shame over NOT keeping resolutions. They may not be direct, but they are aimed at guilt making!!

my insteads

With two major professional degrees and several accolades, I know I am not a failure.

I actually CAN and DO accomplish things - but I have ceased the resolution-type thinking and adopted a more casual approach to my life. It took some hard work on my part to re-think the business/life model that keeps telling us we “need” to make a yearly, monthly, daily plan… or else!

I choose "or else"

Opting for the “or else” works for me!

Every choice can be the “correct way!"

I let my mind wander!

I now enjoy late December/early January as we get an added minutes of daylight every afternoon.

I use this light/dark scenario to reflect, have fun, and think about my work - but not make any of this into resolutions,
to-do lists, or anything tightly scheduled!

I do a non-journal kind of journaling

I call it my mental meandering but it’s more like a brain dump. This is one activity I do most every day but without the “I must do it” kind of thinking, so I often don't do this. And that’s okay!

Apple has made this easier for me as they released a journal app and I have started using that app - but still not every day - I figure a few days a week [maybe] works for me.

Don't get mad at your computer – laugh at the spam!

I always look at what my spam catchers catch on my blogs because they err on the side of catching too much…

The email spam I do not open!

I like that better than catching too few….

Here are some spam comments that have appeared on a few of my blogs – I bet you get them as well. They sound sort of reasonable until you realize you've seen the same words more than once, or twice, or 50 times…

So I thought – why not post about what fun it is to read this stuff….giggles sure beats getting ticked off about the spam…It's going to continue to happen and I will continue to giggle at it.

Here are 3 examples of spam that were on one of my blogs..all comments on a page and not a post.

[I'm still wondering what keywords got them there…]

1- The charm and appeal to our cleverness as bloggers:

I like what you guys are up also. Such clever work and reporting! Keep up the superb works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it will improve the value of my site :). "Live among men as if God beheld you speak to God as if men were listening." by Seneca.

2- Making us feel we are really really special:

I think other website owners should take this site as an example , very clean and fantastic user friendly design . “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” by Carol Burnett.

3- Attempt at both of the above

Fantastic goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely magnificent. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it wise. I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is really a tremendous site.

Spam is a factor in life – so laugh at it…..

And I'll let you all know if posting these comments leads to lots of spam on this post

YUP – whatever words are in these spam comments above, they attracted more spam

Thoughts? Comments? Thanks….

Do you make resolutions? Do they work for you? Or if not - what do you do - if anything? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

Reading Spam Is Like Reading Comics

what I do instead

my insteads

I choose "or else"

I let my mind wander!

Don't get mad at your computer – laugh at the spam!

The email spam I do not open!

[I'm still wondering what keywords got them there…]

And I'll let you all know if posting these comments leads to lots of spam on this post

Thoughts? Comments? Thanks….

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