My Vision For Me – And Maybe You? | Gray Wolf Productions

what I do instead

Written By Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. | Musings | 0 Comments

It’s THAT time of the year — again [sigh]

My inbox and social media feeds are filled with mail/posts selling me on the advantages of:

planners
courses about planning
products on how to use AI to make my year “better” “great” “etc.”
health-related info on starting the year off the “right” way
making resolutions [personal and business]
and more…

Except for the AI which is sort of new this year — the posting and the emails are the same every December and January.

But last year some of it started back earlier in the Fall because everyone knows:

“I have to get your attention about January 2024 in the middle of the summer or early fall or else you won't buy my product.”

It’s fine if you do the above - and even better if making resolutions works for you…

I no longer make them.

I used to.

I’d read a lot of that “how to succeed” stuff, that “guru” stuff, that “my friends say this works” stuff, and would make a list of what I would accomplish in the upcoming year….

Then at some point during the year, I’d look at my resolution list and laugh [or cry] as so little of it ever got done! Or done with any degree of consistency.

So I stopped making New Year resolutions. It seemed to not be good for my mental health OR my productivity. My brain doesn't like lists!!

I've discovered that I am not alone. Many, if not most, people did not follow theirs either.

Especially these:

"I am going to exercise every day” resolution or “I am going to lose X pounds this year” or “I am going to lose 5 pounds a month.”

And work-related resolutions?

The “I will write a post a day,” or “I will write a book before Summer,” or I will do X by Y time frame.

Ditto the very popular “I will be making $XXX a month by the end of March or April” type of resolution.

These resolutions generally do not work.

Why? We tend to set impossible resolutions or standards for ourselves. They are often more wishful thinking than actual planned-out behaviors. Not sticking to these resolutions may make us feel like failures so early in the new year, and yes, the ad people play into this guilt.

Watch ads early in the year and note those aimed at making us feel guilt and shame over NOT keeping resolutions. They may not be direct, but they are aimed at guilt making!!

my insteads

With two major professional degrees and several accolades, I know I am not a failure.

I actually CAN and DO accomplish things - but I have ceased the resolution-type thinking and adopted a more casual approach to my life. It took some hard work on my part to re-think the business/life model that keeps telling us we “need” to make a yearly, monthly, daily plan… or else!

I choose "or else"

Opting for the “or else” works for me!

Every choice can be the “correct way!"

I let my mind wander!

I now enjoy late December/early January as we get an added minutes of daylight every afternoon.

I use this light/dark scenario to reflect, have fun, and think about my work - but not make any of this into resolutions,
to-do lists, or anything tightly scheduled!

I do a non-journal kind of journaling

I call it my mental meandering but it’s more like a brain dump. This is one activity I do most every day but without the “I must do it” kind of thinking, so I often don't do this. And that’s okay!

Apple has made this easier for me as they released a journal app and I have started using that app - but still not every day - I figure a few days a week [maybe] works for me.

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 3

I am already living in a place that I had a vision about many years ago. That's why I moved here. I love living near water and now I live ON the water. I actually float in a house on a large river so I have water on all sides. But my vision that got me here also had an important caveat and that was a promise to myself that I would live in the area of a fairly large city for the rest of my life. Having tried living in the country a couple of times in my life I have found that I am a genetic city person and thus I will stay in a city. Luckily for both versions the water and the house or totally within the boundary of a pretty large city. So I can have the quietness of a river. I can sit and look at the water or go kayaking, but if I want, I can hop on a train, bus, or car and be downtown in a very short time. I have found my perfect place to live.

So for this challenge, I have a different sort of vision because I no longer need to find the perfect place to live. What I need to do now is make the place into ideas that I have for it. And me.

When I get up in the morning the first thing I envision doing - and do - is let the dog and cat out. There's no getting around that. Doesn't matter if it's what I want to do or not it's with the cat and dog want to do. Then I make coffee and while the water is boiling I have a glass of warm water with lemon in it. I have the coffee and I also do a lot of intensive stretching because I've discovered that all the exercise I do tightens calf and foot muscles and as I've gotten older I need to do more stretching to keep flexible. I do about 20 minutes of yoga and then have breakfast. Sometimes a simple smoothie, sometimes a more complicated meal.

Morning is the above because that won't change but I envision my house being very different. I see the space having all the the internal walls removed and having it be one light filled open space with a butcher block counter. By the way, my house is very small. I downsized when I moved out west. And a way to have more space is to remove the few internal walls that now exist and have that island that I can eat at and use for parties, etc. Then I can get rid of the table that now serves as both desk and eating space.

Also in my vision is a brand new Subaru Impreza. I'm old enough now that the car will last me the rest of either my life or my driving life.

Another part of my vision includes new skis, boots, and poles and my vision often includes a cabin up in the mountains so that I don't have to get up so early to go skiing.

How will I reach this vision? I intend to become the go-to expert on healthy aging. And that's where you, the readers come in, please let me know what questions you might have about your aging. I've written about aging before and I will continue doing so - but I'm envisioning doing the research that I have put off and procrastinated about and when it is done hopefully we will all know how to live healthier, longer, more prosperous, and happier lives - filled with the visions that we want for ourselves. I will be continuing on this line of thought for a while and you will hear about it.

Comments? Thoughts? Thank you!!

Do you make resolutions? Do they work for you? Or if not - what do you do - if anything? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

My Vision For Me – and Maybe You?

what I do instead

my insteads

I choose "or else"

I let my mind wander!

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