Do You Have A Sense of Direction? Yes? No?

what I do instead

Written By Lynn Dorman, Ph.D.  |  Musings  |  5 Comments

list of resolutions

It’s THAT time of the year — again [sigh]

My inbox and social media feeds are filled with mail/posts selling me on the advantages of:

  • planners
  • courses about planning
  • products on how to use AI to make my year “better” “great” “etc.”
  • health-related info on starting the year off the “right” way
  • making resolutions [personal and business]
  • and more…

Except for the AI which is sort of new this year — the posting and the emails are the same every December and January.

But last year some of it started back earlier in the Fall because everyone knows:

“I have to get your attention about January 2024 in the middle of the summer or early fall or else you won't buy my product.”

It’s fine if you do the above - and even better if making resolutions works for you…

I no longer make them.

I used to.

I’d read a lot of that “how to succeed” stuff, that “guru” stuff, that “my friends say this works” stuff, and would make a list of what I would accomplish in the upcoming year….

Then at some point during the year, I’d look at my resolution list and laugh [or cry] as so little of it ever got done! Or done with any degree of consistency.

So I stopped making New Year resolutions. It seemed to not be good for my mental health OR my productivity. My brain doesn't like lists!!

I've discovered that I am not alone. Many, if not most, people did not follow theirs either.

Especially these:

"I am going to exercise every day” resolution or “I am going to lose X pounds this year” or “I am going to lose 5 pounds a month.”


And work-related resolutions?

The “I will write a post a day,” or “I will write a book before Summer,” or I will do X by Y time frame.

Ditto the very popular “I will be making $XXX a month by the end of March or April” type of resolution.

These resolutions generally do not work.

Why? We tend to set impossible resolutions or standards for ourselves. They are often more wishful thinking than actual planned-out behaviors. Not sticking to these resolutions may make us feel like failures so early in the new year, and yes, the ad people play into this guilt.

Watch ads early in the year and note those aimed at making us feel guilt and shame over NOT keeping resolutions. They may not be direct, but they are aimed at guilt making!!

my insteads 

With two major professional degrees and several accolades, I know I am not a failure.

I actually CAN and DO accomplish things - but I have ceased the resolution-type thinking and adopted a more casual approach to my life. It took some hard work on my part to re-think the business/life model that keeps telling us we “need” to make a yearly, monthly, daily plan… or else!


I choose "or else"


Opting for the “or else” works for me! 

Every choice can be the “correct way!"


I let my mind wander!

I now enjoy late December/early January as we get an added minutes of daylight every afternoon. 

I use this light/dark scenario to reflect, have fun, and think about my work - but not make any of this into resolutions,
to-do lists, or anything tightly scheduled!


I do a non-journal kind of journaling

I call it my mental meandering but it’s more like a brain dump. This is one activity I do most every day but without the “I must do it” kind of thinking, so I often don't do this. And that’s okay!

Apple has made this easier for me as they released a journal app and I have started using that app - but still not every day - I figure a few days a week [maybe] works for me.

If you said yes – you have a sense of direction – you may not fully understand those of us who said NO!


fork-in-the-roadWe come to a sign like this and have to go through these thoughts

  • which way did I go the last time I was here?
  • was the correct choice?

Only after we make the choice this time – can we remember if it was correct…because if it wasn't we are lost.

And the no-direction brain often makes the same wrong choice because that WAS what we chose the last time.

A multi-directional sign is more challenging.

It does feel like this image.

If the words are north, south, east and west -watch out –

we WILL get lost

It's not a brain function we can fix – so please understand that.

We need other kinds of cues to get our path correct…if you are our passenger, yelling directions at us only makes it worse..and ensures our getting lost.

Our brains process differently than yours does...

 

Thoughts? Comments? Thank you

 


Do you make resolutions? Do they work for you? Or if not - what do you do - if anything? Please comment below and thank you for reading.  

  • So if someone makes the same mistakes over and over I would assume that means they have no sense of direction. If they claim to be unhappy with the consistently bad results why can’t they change?

    • Thanks for the comment.

      Maybe they do know they have no sense of direction. I had no idea [having grown up in NYC where streets are parallel and perpendicular and numbered.] Then I moved to Boston – that’s when I figured it out.

      I have notes on a small clipboard to remember some choice points and have a compass stuck on my windshield.

      We can’t fix it as it is a brain function [or lack of] so you learn to work around it in ways that work for you..

      Ask that person if they are aware of this and let them know there is no point in getting flustered.

  • That would be a definite NO for me and I was a letter carrier for awhile. Ooh, it just struck me, that would make a good blog posting. I’ll have to link back to you as inspiration. Anyway, as I was saying, I often joke that I get lost going to my own bathroom. Not really a joke.

  • {"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

    Enjoyed this article?

    Find more great content here:

    >