Dealing With Challenges: Day 1

what I do instead

Written By Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. | Musings | 0 Comments

It’s THAT time of the year — again [sigh]

My inbox and social media feeds are filled with mail/posts selling me on the advantages of:

planners
courses about planning
products on how to use AI to make my year “better” “great” “etc.”
health-related info on starting the year off the “right” way
making resolutions [personal and business]
and more…

Except for the AI which is sort of new this year — the posting and the emails are the same every December and January.

But last year some of it started back earlier in the Fall because everyone knows:

“I have to get your attention about January 2024 in the middle of the summer or early fall or else you won't buy my product.”

It’s fine if you do the above - and even better if making resolutions works for you…

I no longer make them.

I used to.

I’d read a lot of that “how to succeed” stuff, that “guru” stuff, that “my friends say this works” stuff, and would make a list of what I would accomplish in the upcoming year….

Then at some point during the year, I’d look at my resolution list and laugh [or cry] as so little of it ever got done! Or done with any degree of consistency.

So I stopped making New Year resolutions. It seemed to not be good for my mental health OR my productivity. My brain doesn't like lists!!

I've discovered that I am not alone. Many, if not most, people did not follow theirs either.

Especially these:

"I am going to exercise every day” resolution or “I am going to lose X pounds this year” or “I am going to lose 5 pounds a month.”

And work-related resolutions?

The “I will write a post a day,” or “I will write a book before Summer,” or I will do X by Y time frame.

Ditto the very popular “I will be making $XXX a month by the end of March or April” type of resolution.

These resolutions generally do not work.

Why? We tend to set impossible resolutions or standards for ourselves. They are often more wishful thinking than actual planned-out behaviors. Not sticking to these resolutions may make us feel like failures so early in the new year, and yes, the ad people play into this guilt.

Watch ads early in the year and note those aimed at making us feel guilt and shame over NOT keeping resolutions. They may not be direct, but they are aimed at guilt making!!

my insteads

With two major professional degrees and several accolades, I know I am not a failure.

I actually CAN and DO accomplish things - but I have ceased the resolution-type thinking and adopted a more casual approach to my life. It took some hard work on my part to re-think the business/life model that keeps telling us we “need” to make a yearly, monthly, daily plan… or else!

I choose "or else"

Opting for the “or else” works for me!

Every choice can be the “correct way!"

I let my mind wander!

I now enjoy late December/early January as we get an added minutes of daylight every afternoon.

I use this light/dark scenario to reflect, have fun, and think about my work - but not make any of this into resolutions,
to-do lists, or anything tightly scheduled!

I do a non-journal kind of journaling

I call it my mental meandering but it’s more like a brain dump. This is one activity I do most every day but without the “I must do it” kind of thinking, so I often don't do this. And that’s okay!

Apple has made this easier for me as they released a journal app and I have started using that app - but still not every day - I figure a few days a week [maybe] works for me.

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 1 which is to take some time to think about your biggest challenges, then list down 2-3 of them and write a few lines about why you think they are holding you back.

More...

Challenge 1: this is a challenge that I have known about now for - let's see over 40 years. I know I have good ideas. I know I am smart. I know I write well. But - and this is the big challenge - when I get into a project I jump ahead in my mind thinking about the end of it and I tell myself that nobody will like it or that it will wind up being something that someone else has done and it then sits in a folder on my computer.

As an example: For years I’ve talked and made notes, lots of notes, on a project about aging and I have talked with other people about what I'm going to do. Most of them are very positive. Do I listen to them? Nope - I listen to the one or two people who say to me what do you want to do that for everybody else is doing that it's already been done.

Why is it holding me back? Because I let it!

Challenge 2: good grief the first one is hard enough and it contains a lot of little challenges but I can think of another one.

There's a lot of things I like to do and a lot of things I need to do. I also know that I like to do things in the morning and in the daylight. So when it gets dark out or when it's raining out I tend to not want to do much of anything.

It holds me back because there’s a limited number of morning hours and daylight hours. Especially as we go in the fall and winter.

I have to relearn that I can do things later at night. I know I am capable of thatt. I say relearn as I have two advanced degrees I managed to obtain. The second one as a single parent who also worked. And a lot of the school work got done late at night. Yeah...I'm a lot older now, but that is not an excuse

These are my challenges! I will overcome them!

Thoughts? Comments? Thank you!

Do you make resolutions? Do they work for you? Or if not - what do you do - if anything? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

what I do instead

my insteads

I choose "or else"

I let my mind wander!

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