I Was Challenged; And I Won [we All Won]

what I do instead

Written By Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. | Musings | 0 Comments

It’s THAT time of the year — again [sigh]

My inbox and social media feeds are filled with mail/posts selling me on the advantages of:

planners
courses about planning
products on how to use AI to make my year “better” “great” “etc.”
health-related info on starting the year off the “right” way
making resolutions [personal and business]
and more…

Except for the AI which is sort of new this year — the posting and the emails are the same every December and January.

But last year some of it started back earlier in the Fall because everyone knows:

“I have to get your attention about January 2024 in the middle of the summer or early fall or else you won't buy my product.”

It’s fine if you do the above - and even better if making resolutions works for you…

I no longer make them.

I used to.

I’d read a lot of that “how to succeed” stuff, that “guru” stuff, that “my friends say this works” stuff, and would make a list of what I would accomplish in the upcoming year….

Then at some point during the year, I’d look at my resolution list and laugh [or cry] as so little of it ever got done! Or done with any degree of consistency.

So I stopped making New Year resolutions. It seemed to not be good for my mental health OR my productivity. My brain doesn't like lists!!

I've discovered that I am not alone. Many, if not most, people did not follow theirs either.

Especially these:

"I am going to exercise every day” resolution or “I am going to lose X pounds this year” or “I am going to lose 5 pounds a month.”

And work-related resolutions?

The “I will write a post a day,” or “I will write a book before Summer,” or I will do X by Y time frame.

Ditto the very popular “I will be making $XXX a month by the end of March or April” type of resolution.

These resolutions generally do not work.

Why? We tend to set impossible resolutions or standards for ourselves. They are often more wishful thinking than actual planned-out behaviors. Not sticking to these resolutions may make us feel like failures so early in the new year, and yes, the ad people play into this guilt.

Watch ads early in the year and note those aimed at making us feel guilt and shame over NOT keeping resolutions. They may not be direct, but they are aimed at guilt making!!

my insteads

With two major professional degrees and several accolades, I know I am not a failure.

I actually CAN and DO accomplish things - but I have ceased the resolution-type thinking and adopted a more casual approach to my life. It took some hard work on my part to re-think the business/life model that keeps telling us we “need” to make a yearly, monthly, daily plan… or else!

I choose "or else"

Opting for the “or else” works for me!

Every choice can be the “correct way!"

I let my mind wander!

I now enjoy late December/early January as we get an added minutes of daylight every afternoon.

I use this light/dark scenario to reflect, have fun, and think about my work - but not make any of this into resolutions,
to-do lists, or anything tightly scheduled!

I do a non-journal kind of journaling

I call it my mental meandering but it’s more like a brain dump. This is one activity I do most every day but without the “I must do it” kind of thinking, so I often don't do this. And that’s okay!

Apple has made this easier for me as they released a journal app and I have started using that app - but still not every day - I figure a few days a week [maybe] works for me.

Today is the last day of a ten-day blog challenge. I was challenged. It was easy for me to do the posts once I did the challenging part of thinking about what it was that I was going to focus on for the next part of my life. I think the others in the blog challenge also came up with good things which is why I said we all won.

Today's challenge was to say which of the 10 days was my favorite. I looked back through them they all made me do a lot of thinking but the one I like the best was about my superpowers. In fact, in talking with someone online at some point during the day she said that was brilliant I added that yes I am brilliant but I did not put that into my list of superpowers. So maybe I should add that now. I am smart. I am very smart. I could be called brilliant but I don't usually say that. That's part of an issue - ever since I was a kid I've known I was smart but we were also admonished to not tell everybody how smart we are.

That was my favorite day and now my take away is that I am going to change the admonition I got as a kid and I am going to put it down here as self praise is great and you probably know what that is taking the place of but I am not going to say the words. I am learning to keep those negativities out of my mind.

I started this challenge knowing that there is another challenge about doing a project coming up soon so I had the idea to put it all together into finally getting to my aging project. Interestingly, I had asked my son and daughter-in-law what they saw as my good qualities and their answers were interesting. I'm not going to put them in here but they were very positive and much in line with what I want to do about the aging project [which has been on my computer for many years] and like many of the things on my computer they are slowly getting done. My next step[s] to reach my goals is that the next few months are going to be focused on the aging project. Yes - there are those other books I will finish as well because I promised my head that they would get done. But among my superpowers are that I am smart. I write well. I write easily - and dammit I am going to get all of these things done done done.

Thoughts? Comments? Thank you!!

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 10

Do you make resolutions? Do they work for you? Or if not - what do you do - if anything? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

I Was Challenged; And I Won [we all won]

what I do instead

my insteads

I choose "or else"

I let my mind wander!

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