Blog Challenge Day 2

what I do instead

Written By Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. | Musings | 0 Comments

It’s THAT time of the year — again [sigh]

My inbox and social media feeds are filled with mail/posts selling me on the advantages of:

planners
courses about planning
products on how to use AI to make my year “better” “great” “etc.”
health-related info on starting the year off the “right” way
making resolutions [personal and business]
and more…

Except for the AI which is sort of new this year — the posting and the emails are the same every December and January.

But last year some of it started back earlier in the Fall because everyone knows:

“I have to get your attention about January 2024 in the middle of the summer or early fall or else you won't buy my product.”

It’s fine if you do the above - and even better if making resolutions works for you…

I no longer make them.

I used to.

I’d read a lot of that “how to succeed” stuff, that “guru” stuff, that “my friends say this works” stuff, and would make a list of what I would accomplish in the upcoming year….

Then at some point during the year, I’d look at my resolution list and laugh [or cry] as so little of it ever got done! Or done with any degree of consistency.

So I stopped making New Year resolutions. It seemed to not be good for my mental health OR my productivity. My brain doesn't like lists!!

I've discovered that I am not alone. Many, if not most, people did not follow theirs either.

Especially these:

"I am going to exercise every day” resolution or “I am going to lose X pounds this year” or “I am going to lose 5 pounds a month.”

And work-related resolutions?

The “I will write a post a day,” or “I will write a book before Summer,” or I will do X by Y time frame.

Ditto the very popular “I will be making $XXX a month by the end of March or April” type of resolution.

These resolutions generally do not work.

Why? We tend to set impossible resolutions or standards for ourselves. They are often more wishful thinking than actual planned-out behaviors. Not sticking to these resolutions may make us feel like failures so early in the new year, and yes, the ad people play into this guilt.

Watch ads early in the year and note those aimed at making us feel guilt and shame over NOT keeping resolutions. They may not be direct, but they are aimed at guilt making!!

my insteads

With two major professional degrees and several accolades, I know I am not a failure.

I actually CAN and DO accomplish things - but I have ceased the resolution-type thinking and adopted a more casual approach to my life. It took some hard work on my part to re-think the business/life model that keeps telling us we “need” to make a yearly, monthly, daily plan… or else!

I choose "or else"

Opting for the “or else” works for me!

Every choice can be the “correct way!"

I let my mind wander!

I now enjoy late December/early January as we get an added minutes of daylight every afternoon.

I use this light/dark scenario to reflect, have fun, and think about my work - but not make any of this into resolutions,
to-do lists, or anything tightly scheduled!

I do a non-journal kind of journaling

I call it my mental meandering but it’s more like a brain dump. This is one activity I do most every day but without the “I must do it” kind of thinking, so I often don't do this. And that’s okay!

Apple has made this easier for me as they released a journal app and I have started using that app - but still not every day - I figure a few days a week [maybe] works for me.

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 2 which is essentially discovering my why for leading a freedom lifestyle.

I tend to not like the term freedom lifestyle. Maybe it's because I am a US citizen and freedom gets thrown around so much in politics that it has lost any meaning for me. I know what freedom is for me - but to listen to the news you would think everybody's “freedom” is being taken away from them. [Anyway I'm not going into politics right now as that's another post - or book.]

Why I want to live what I think is meant by a freedom lifestyle is because I will have more time to help people if I'm not so concerned about daily things that seem to need being taken care of.

In my mind, a freedom lifestyle is one where I can stop looking at price tags. That means if something needs to be taken care of I can call someone and get it taken care of. Or I can do it myself without wondering what else needs to be done that has a higher priority. Also I'm getting a lot older and I haven't got that many years left to again reach this lifestyle. I've had the lifestyle in the past and lost it and I want it back again - so that's a good reason. By doing my why, I will also have an impact because I will be able to do what I've always been doing which is helping people be healthy and psychologically well developed.

This why has basically been the same for decades.
I stray away from it but I get back to it!
I ignore it but it gets back to me.

I want everyone to live the most healthy, optimally developed life that they can. I'm a developmental psychologist with a major interest in nutrition and I have been on this path since the 1960's. I've talked about, and written about, things that help babies and children develop -and over the years I've gotten very much more interested in writing about and studying healthy aging.

This seems to be my basic why because it's the thing I keep coming back to. Aging is part of the human developmental cycle and as I've gotten older I'm more interested in the older end of it [but I do pay attention to what is going on at the beginning end of it or the beginning start of it.]

My positive impact will be to have people recognize that they can start today to be healthy. It doesn't have to have started back before you were born it can start today.

No matter how old you are you can always get better at your health and your psychological development.

Thoughts? Comments? Thank you!

Do you make resolutions? Do they work for you? Or if not - what do you do - if anything? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

what I do instead

my insteads

I choose "or else"

I let my mind wander!

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