what I do instead

Written By Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. | Musings | 0 Comments

It’s THAT time of the year — again [sigh]

My inbox and social media feeds are filled with mail/posts selling me on the advantages of:

planners
courses about planning
products on how to use AI to make my year “better” “great” “etc.”
health-related info on starting the year off the “right” way
making resolutions [personal and business]
and more…

Except for the AI which is sort of new this year — the posting and the emails are the same every December and January.

But last year some of it started back earlier in the Fall because everyone knows:

“I have to get your attention about January 2024 in the middle of the summer or early fall or else you won't buy my product.”

It’s fine if you do the above - and even better if making resolutions works for you…

I no longer make them.

I used to.

I’d read a lot of that “how to succeed” stuff, that “guru” stuff, that “my friends say this works” stuff, and would make a list of what I would accomplish in the upcoming year….

Then at some point during the year, I’d look at my resolution list and laugh [or cry] as so little of it ever got done! Or done with any degree of consistency.

So I stopped making New Year resolutions. It seemed to not be good for my mental health OR my productivity. My brain doesn't like lists!!

I've discovered that I am not alone. Many, if not most, people did not follow theirs either.

Especially these:

"I am going to exercise every day” resolution or “I am going to lose X pounds this year” or “I am going to lose 5 pounds a month.”

And work-related resolutions?

The “I will write a post a day,” or “I will write a book before Summer,” or I will do X by Y time frame.

Ditto the very popular “I will be making $XXX a month by the end of March or April” type of resolution.

These resolutions generally do not work.

Why? We tend to set impossible resolutions or standards for ourselves. They are often more wishful thinking than actual planned-out behaviors. Not sticking to these resolutions may make us feel like failures so early in the new year, and yes, the ad people play into this guilt.

Watch ads early in the year and note those aimed at making us feel guilt and shame over NOT keeping resolutions. They may not be direct, but they are aimed at guilt making!!

my insteads

With two major professional degrees and several accolades, I know I am not a failure.

I actually CAN and DO accomplish things - but I have ceased the resolution-type thinking and adopted a more casual approach to my life. It took some hard work on my part to re-think the business/life model that keeps telling us we “need” to make a yearly, monthly, daily plan… or else!

I choose "or else"

Opting for the “or else” works for me!

Every choice can be the “correct way!"

I let my mind wander!

I now enjoy late December/early January as we get an added minutes of daylight every afternoon.

I use this light/dark scenario to reflect, have fun, and think about my work - but not make any of this into resolutions,
to-do lists, or anything tightly scheduled!

I do a non-journal kind of journaling

I call it my mental meandering but it’s more like a brain dump. This is one activity I do most every day but without the “I must do it” kind of thinking, so I often don't do this. And that’s okay!

Apple has made this easier for me as they released a journal app and I have started using that app - but still not every day - I figure a few days a week [maybe] works for me.

Are you stressed?

Why we have so many more people feeling stressed these days has been attributed to factors such as job concerns, crime, changing societal and religious practices, etc.

I am not sure what stresses you, but I do know that the two reasons most people do not sleep well at night are worries about their health and about their finances.

Like the picture shows – when you are worried about health and money – ringing phones are themselves a stressor!

And I also know that stress leads to a lack of adequate sleep and that stress is a major cause of health problems.

Caveat – some stress is good for us – it can be motivating.

This post is about that stress which can be harmful and bad stress takes one on a cycle of – well – more stress.

The cycle goes like this:

worry about health and money
sleep less well
get more stressed
get stress-related illnesses
worry more about health
sleep even less well
get even more stressed
and so on…..

Here are 5 ways to start reducing your stress:

1 – you must get adequate sleep

How?

going to bed at the same time every evening
not watching TV in bed
not having an argument before bedtime
not reading murder mysteries at bedtime
no late night eating – except maybe a glass of warm milk

Hard? Yes. Impossible? No!

2- you must exercise

I know it’s harder to exercise when you are stressed. So think of daily small things you can do that make your body move.

stairs instead of elevators
walking more
jumping jacks.
hopping or running in place in your house while watching TV or listening to the radio

3- you must eat properly

This means the right nutrition and at the right times because bodies need fuel just like your car does – and your body needs the right fuel and at the right time just like your car does.

eat only when you are actually hungry
snack on vegetables and fruit
drink more water – a lot of “feeling” hungry is actually a need for hydration
avoid soft drinks
eat breakfast every day

4- you have to socialize

spend quiet time with family
go for a walk with friends
hang out on Facebook or Twitter
chat with your neighbors

5 – And the hardest for many – you must earn more income

I know the economy is not great but there are home-based business models that do well in an economic downturn.

check out the company [due diligence]
find a product that you really love and use it
talk to your friends
don’t expect overnight success – be patient but always take a daily step forward with your new business.

Comments? Thoughts? Thank you!

Do you make resolutions? Do they work for you? Or if not - what do you do - if anything? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

About Stress and 5 Stress Busters