Family secrets: a topic I have had in my head for decades.

Growing up, I learned that my father’s family had Native American heritage – but it was not to be discussed, as it was a family secret!

When I asked my paternal relatives about it – I got told, “We don’t talk about that!”

end. of. conversation.

I may not have asked more questions of them – but the topic sure stayed in my head. And no I have not done much genealogical research – but I do poke around the web seeking information.

Then my mother’s family – always a mystery. Her paternal relatives did not like the woman their son married so there was little interaction [or so I was told.] Her father died when my mom was young and my grandmother would never speak of her spouse’s family so that too was an

end. of. conversation.

But – as it turned out – my father’s family had yet another secret!

My cousins and I knew our grandmother had a sister – we called her Aunt Sadie. As she lived near my grandparents, she was at all the family functions – and as far as we knew, she was the only sibling.

But not that many years ago I learned that her family included even more siblings!

My grandmother had another sister who lived and died in relatively close physical proximity to my her! Some of us, her children and grandchildren, sort of knew there was a relative who was married to a wealthy man but the exact “relation” was one of those family secrets.

Only after this woman died, and without a will, did we get to know the exact relationship. She was my grandmother’s and Aunt Sadie’s sister! We knew this only because as she died without a will, we, the grandchildren, stood to inherit her estate.

We had to prove we were related to her and that there were no other relatives in closer gemological proximity. To that end, our attorney hired a genealogist who researched my grandmother’s family.

Wow! Sitting in that Manhattan courtroom listening to the genealogist was funny and sad – at the same time. 

Family secrets? Tons of them!

I’m not going into all of it here as there are many many hours of her testimony, but the one I do want to mention is that my grandmother had at least 8 siblings!

I will always wonder what happened to those relatives – the records are spotty and incomplete – but my psychology head has a wild time imagining all the possible whys that led this family to get so secretive.

What other secrets were there that kept siblings living near each other but not in contact? What kept the remaining NYC sister from seeking out her sister’s grandchildren?

Many questions…but no answers……

 

Does your family have secrets? I know many do as when I mentioned this family matter to friends, I was often told of the secret[s] in theirs!