PETS!
They are better than family at times......

​As far back as I can recall in my life as a developmental psychologist, I have included pets as part of the family when I teach psychology courses.

Maybe it's because I have always had pets and loved them or maybe I always knew that pets were important members of the family psychologically.

Anyway I was very happy to see this research on pets:

This does not surprise any of us with pets.....and it fits with what we know about service dogs - especially service dogs for those with issues like PTSD such as ex-military personnel.

The researcher added that the children turned to their pets more than they did to their friends or family even though they knew that the pets did not understand what they were saying.

 Many of us, including myself, would not agree with the part about the pets not understanding - we think they do. Dogs and cats seem to know exactly what is going on with their humans.

Thoughts?  Comments?

In Vermont you get a lot of snow - a whole lot of snow!

Schools rarely close unless it's really bad - or really unexpected - or both!

For years, my son and I played April Fool tricks on each other - usually along the line of trying to get the other to look at some imaginary object or some event that was not actually happening.

On April 1 of his year in Vermont, there was a 2 foot snow storm and school was canceled. I knew he would not be happy if he got up and took a shower only to find out he could have slept in - so I woke him around 5:30 AM to tell him there was no school due to a snow storm.

His reply was along the lines of "ha ha I know it's April Fool and I am not falling for that." I suggested he look out the window but as that had been our usual "fool" he refused. He got up and was heading for a shower and I tried most seriously to again tell him there was no school.

I forget how I managed to convince him to look out a window - but he did. And what he said is not for public consumption.

It was such a funny experience I recall it every April 1 !!

Happy April Fool

P.S. This is an edited repost form years ago.
Neither of us lives in New England anymore

What's your favorite April Fool memory?
Let us know below in the comments...thanks

​

A study with infants, aged 6 to 12 months, showed that napping aided memory and learning.

They [the researchers] taught six- to 12-month-olds three new tasks involving playing with hand puppets. 

Half the babies slept within four hours of learning, while the rest either had no sleep or napped for fewer than 30 minutes.

The next day, the babies were encouraged to repeat what they had been taught.

The results, published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed "sleeping like a baby" was vital for learning.

On average one-and-a-half tasks could be repeated after having a substantial nap.

Yet zero tasks could be repeated if there was little sleep time.

We need to be awake when learning, but it seems that a nap right after the learning aids memory. The researchers go on to say that reading to a child just before bedtime is good.  We know that sleep helps our brains make new cellular connections and to me, the new connections help learning and retention of that learning.

I recall from a college psych class lecture, that studying for an exam and then going directly to sleep was the best thing to do.  That was for adults - and no surprise that it works for babies as well.

Having just gone through new puppyhood, I will say, it seems to work for dogs as well....

I love that more and more research on learning, brains, sleep, and memory are appearing. All these findings may help us to develop to our fullest potentials all through our lifecycle

Share your thoughts and comments below - and Thank You!!

​A recent analysis of children with and without autism was conducted and found:

By looking at estimated pollution exposure during pregnancy, based on the mother's home address, the scientists concluded high levels of pollution were more common in children with autism.

The strongest link was with fine particulate matter - invisible specks of mineral dust, carbon and other chemicals - that enter the bloodstream and cause damage throughout the body.

We have parents and others not getting regular childhood vaccines due to an unfounded fear of their causing autism when the real culprit is our dirty toxic air.

The results do not surprise me as developmental psychologists have said for years that pregnant women need to avoid harmful substances....We have been teaching, writing, and advocating about better environments and care for pregnant women. And been doing this for decades....yet the vaccine people have a larger [and more gullible?] audience - and that's sad.

​Why do I say this? Vaccines have been available for decades and decades and and the increase in the rate of autism is more recent than the eras of vaccines. I'm not saying all vaccines are totally safe, nothing chemical we put in our body is really predictable as to how our body will deal with it

If vaccines were as bad as people want to say they are - the rate of autism should have been high way back like when I was a kid because we all got vaccinated.

But the increase in autism is more modern and it seems to correlate with the increase in air pollution, the increase in the way we fertilize and grow food and the way that we put chemicals in most everything that we eat.

I'm not going to go off onto a big rant here, but the thing is you really have to be careful what you put in your body when you're pregnant and that includes dirty air.

If you have the choice, breathe cleaner air. If you don't have the choice maybe wear a mask or limit the time spent in the dirty air.  The thing is we now know that there's a link between dirty air and autism so maybe we can start doing something about the dirty air?

I know this is a controversial topic and everyone has a point of view -  so if you want please give your thoughts and comments below but please keep it polite -
thank you

You can read more of my thoughts about child rearing in my Kindle book:
You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids:

They both:

• grow fast
• get out of sorts.
• develop  “growing pains”

It took me a few days of total chaos around here to figure out that the puppy was growing so fast her body became unfamiliar to her.   She ran around yipping, biting, and basically being obnoxious!   She didn't know  

• if she was hungry
• if she was tired
• if she wanted to play
• if she wanted to sleep

  So after missing the obvious for a bit I figured it out….

Puppies are a lot like young children!!

I remembered that when my son was young he often acted in similar ways.

He would want to eat but then not eat.

He would act like he was tired and wanted to take a nap but then jumped up quickly to go play with something…

So what I did with puppy was what I used do with my son: Massages!

It works! She relaxes and then sleeps.

YES!!

Comments? Thank you!!

IQ Testing:

Wizardry? Mythology?

If you are a reader of this blog, you know that I have no love for IQ tests and IQ testing as a way to determine a child's, or an adult's, or a teenager's total intelligence.  

The tests measure aspects of cognition and are useful for learning many things about a person – but they should never be the one and only test used to make serious long term decisions about any person of any age.

Now there is some research that agrees with me

Researchers that took part in the study now claim that it is a "myth" to measure human beings intelligence using an IQ, but instead say that it can only be predicted by combining results from at least three tests of our mental agility.

 

An IQ test is NOT a universal, one shot, one dimensional way to find out about anyone's intelligence…

Comments

Is childhood obesity related to antibiotic use in infancy?

Yes – It might be one of the factors!

No one likes a sick infant…

BUT – I have heard parents [and adults] say they are going to request antibiotics for what are common colds and viruses.

Antibiotics work only on bacterial infections!

And I once heard a pediatrician say that – yes – he gave parents of young children prescriptions for antibiotics because they insisted and it was easier to give that out than to keep explaining it would not work.

Our overuse of antibiotics in people and in the animals we eat has been causing problems with development…

And because that overuse has led to bigger and better bacteria, we keep designing bigger and better antibiotics and, and, and –  the cycle continues.

Now this!

Researchers from New York University studied more than 10,000 children and found that those given antibiotics before six months of age on average weighed more for their height than children who weren't given antibiotics.

Please! Parents and pediatricians [and meat growers] we do not need so much of this in our bodies!

Serious child abuse is on the rise!

While many reports about child abuse show that it has declined over time, one recent study looked at serious child abuse…abuse where there are fractures and brain injuries and found that there was a slight increase of about 5%.

Before you think or say 5% is not such a major increase – ANY increase in child abuse is too much!

And the study also found that

Hospitalizations among children less than 1 year old increased 10.9 percent….

[The data used was from between 1997 and 2009 – so we do not have more recent similar statistics.]

In the past I worked in the field of Child Abuse and Neglect, both as a Psychologist and as an Attorney,  and it is not a pleasant field and one where all those who worked in it, fervently wished ourselves out of business…..

Seeing infants hurt by parents and caretakers – often for what most would consider trivial reason is not pleasant.

My happiest moments came when parents gave up the rights to their abused children and they were adopted by loving families.

This abuse is an issue we all need to be aware of and work at stopping!!

Thoughts? Comments? Thank you….

Ok – here is part 4.

The previous 3 "arenas" were:

1 – Education

2 – Toilet Training and Weaning

3 – Sports

The 4th arena of competitive parenting is Parties!

• birthday parties
  
• any rite of passage that comes with an expected party like a quinceanera, bar/bat mitzvah
  

These events can get very spendy what with gift bags, décor, and food.

They can be bowling or pool parties, or trips to amusement parks or having clowns and pony rides come to your home.

And when the child is older, as in a bar or bat mitzvah it can be an event at a hotel with a sit down dinner, music and gala happenings.

Do the kids enjoy these? Yes and no – it mostly depends on their age. 

Very young children can be overwhelmed by the huge event and number of people.

Teens at bar and bat mitzvahs and quinceaneras probably enjoy the fun and attention.

Do parents enjoy these? Not always. It can be a lot of work – even for a modest party.

Do the adult guests enjoy them?  At the time, yes, but often they can hardly remember the individual event when each tends to blend into the previous and next….

All this can lead to more and bigger so that “your” event is memorable!

I'm not saying any of this is bad – but what is the message you are sending to your child? Or to your guests?

And guests? What message do you take from it?

If it is to only think of how you can out-do the one you are at – you are competing!

If it gives you good ideas for yours? Go with it!

Thoughts? Comments? Thank you.

In this series, there has been a post about competing in education, and competing in toilet training and weaning.

This post is about competing in sports.

No – not as in the kids competing as they play –

it's about the parent's competing with each other as to whose kid is good, better, best.      

We have all read the tales of parents fighting with each other at Little League games, fighting with the umpires or screaming at the kids…their kids and the other kids.

Ditto at soccer games. The kids are there to have fun and learn "sportsmanship" but the parents are teaching a far different lesson.

And cheerleading? I do recall news about a mother hiring a hit-man to kill her daughter's rival!

So why are the parents competing with each other? Why not let the kids have fun and enjoy the sport?

Are the parents that ego involved in their kid's sports because they see it as a ticket-to-wealth or a ticket-to-college?

Or is it to give a boost to what they consider their great parenting skills? And show that off to everyone else?

Next up: parties

Thoughts? Comments? Additionall areas of competition? Thank you for your input….