PETS!They are better than family at times……

​As far back as I can recall in my life as a developmental psychologist, I have included pets as part of the family when I teach psychology courses.Maybe it’s because I have always had pets and loved them or maybe I always knew that pets were important members of the family psychologically.

Anyway I was very happy to see this research on pets:

Children who are facing adversity, such as illness or parents splitting up, are more likely to confide in their pet than brothers or sisters, according to research.

This does not surprise any of us with pets…..and it fits with what we know about service dogs – especially service dogs for those with issues like PTSD such as ex-military personnel.

The researcher added that the children turned to their pets more than they did to their friends or family even though they knew that the pets did not understand what they were saying.

 Many of us, including myself, would not agree with the part about the pets not understanding – we think they do. Dogs and cats seem to know exactly what is going on with their humans.

Thoughts?  Comments?

They both:

• grow fast
• get out of sorts.
• develop  “growing pains”

It took me a few days of total chaos around here to figure out that the puppy was growing so fast her body became unfamiliar to her.   She ran around yipping, biting, and basically being obnoxious!   She didn't know  

• if she was hungry
• if she was tired
• if she wanted to play
• if she wanted to sleep

  So after missing the obvious for a bit I figured it out….

Puppies are a lot like young children!!

I remembered that when my son was young he often acted in similar ways.

He would want to eat but then not eat.

He would act like he was tired and wanted to take a nap but then jumped up quickly to go play with something…

So what I did with puppy was what I used do with my son: Massages!

It works! She relaxes and then sleeps.

YES!!

Comments? Thank you!!

IQ Testing:

Wizardry? Mythology?

If you are a reader of this blog, you know that I have no love for IQ tests and IQ testing as a way to determine a child's, or an adult's, or a teenager's total intelligence.  

The tests measure aspects of cognition and are useful for learning many things about a person – but they should never be the one and only test used to make serious long term decisions about any person of any age.

Now there is some research that agrees with me

Researchers that took part in the study now claim that it is a "myth" to measure human beings intelligence using an IQ, but instead say that it can only be predicted by combining results from at least three tests of our mental agility.

 

An IQ test is NOT a universal, one shot, one dimensional way to find out about anyone's intelligence…

Comments

Is childhood obesity related to antibiotic use in infancy?

Yes – It might be one of the factors!

No one likes a sick infant…

BUT – I have heard parents [and adults] say they are going to request antibiotics for what are common colds and viruses.

Antibiotics work only on bacterial infections!

And I once heard a pediatrician say that – yes – he gave parents of young children prescriptions for antibiotics because they insisted and it was easier to give that out than to keep explaining it would not work.

Our overuse of antibiotics in people and in the animals we eat has been causing problems with development…

And because that overuse has led to bigger and better bacteria, we keep designing bigger and better antibiotics and, and, and –  the cycle continues.

Now this!

Researchers from New York University studied more than 10,000 children and found that those given antibiotics before six months of age on average weighed more for their height than children who weren't given antibiotics.

Please! Parents and pediatricians [and meat growers] we do not need so much of this in our bodies!

Serious child abuse is on the rise!

While many reports about child abuse show that it has declined over time, one recent study looked at serious child abuse…abuse where there are fractures and brain injuries and found that there was a slight increase of about 5%.

Before you think or say 5% is not such a major increase – ANY increase in child abuse is too much!

And the study also found that

Hospitalizations among children less than 1 year old increased 10.9 percent….

[The data used was from between 1997 and 2009 – so we do not have more recent similar statistics.]

In the past I worked in the field of Child Abuse and Neglect, both as a Psychologist and as an Attorney,  and it is not a pleasant field and one where all those who worked in it, fervently wished ourselves out of business…..

Seeing infants hurt by parents and caretakers – often for what most would consider trivial reason is not pleasant.

My happiest moments came when parents gave up the rights to their abused children and they were adopted by loving families.

This abuse is an issue we all need to be aware of and work at stopping!!

Thoughts? Comments? Thank you….

Ok – here is part 4.

The previous 3 "arenas" were:

1 – Education

2 – Toilet Training and Weaning

3 – Sports

The 4th arena of competitive parenting is Parties!

• birthday parties
  
• any rite of passage that comes with an expected party like a quinceanera, bar/bat mitzvah
  

These events can get very spendy what with gift bags, décor, and food.

They can be bowling or pool parties, or trips to amusement parks or having clowns and pony rides come to your home.

And when the child is older, as in a bar or bat mitzvah it can be an event at a hotel with a sit down dinner, music and gala happenings.

Do the kids enjoy these? Yes and no – it mostly depends on their age. 

Very young children can be overwhelmed by the huge event and number of people.

Teens at bar and bat mitzvahs and quinceaneras probably enjoy the fun and attention.

Do parents enjoy these? Not always. It can be a lot of work – even for a modest party.

Do the adult guests enjoy them?  At the time, yes, but often they can hardly remember the individual event when each tends to blend into the previous and next….

All this can lead to more and bigger so that “your” event is memorable!

I'm not saying any of this is bad – but what is the message you are sending to your child? Or to your guests?

And guests? What message do you take from it?

If it is to only think of how you can out-do the one you are at – you are competing!

If it gives you good ideas for yours? Go with it!

Thoughts? Comments? Thank you.

In this series, there has been a post about competing in education, and competing in toilet training and weaning.

This post is about competing in sports.

No – not as in the kids competing as they play –

it's about the parent's competing with each other as to whose kid is good, better, best.      

We have all read the tales of parents fighting with each other at Little League games, fighting with the umpires or screaming at the kids…their kids and the other kids.

Ditto at soccer games. The kids are there to have fun and learn "sportsmanship" but the parents are teaching a far different lesson.

And cheerleading? I do recall news about a mother hiring a hit-man to kill her daughter's rival!

So why are the parents competing with each other? Why not let the kids have fun and enjoy the sport?

Are the parents that ego involved in their kid's sports because they see it as a ticket-to-wealth or a ticket-to-college?

Or is it to give a boost to what they consider their great parenting skills? And show that off to everyone else?

Next up: parties

Thoughts? Comments? Additionall areas of competition? Thank you for your input….