I love reading this kind of spam email – it gets my snark comedic head working …my commentary is in RED

Hello Dear

no one calls me that – not even my son or my best friends

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you.  and have Decided to get in touch with you after my prayer, to see if you can help me alliviate this problem.

DUH….
 
I can't imagine how you will feel receiving a sudden letter from a remote country far away and probably from someone you are not closely related with. But all the same, I believe we do not need to be of blood relatives before we can establish cordial relationship.

Given that I get several hundred of these a month – you should imagine how I feel –  and all this spam comes from what you call "remote" countries.  Like this one that came the  very same day

Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and if it might offend you without your prior consent and writing through this channel.

I am Mr.Williams  Esimobi,The Chairman, Contract Awarding committee of the ECONOMIC COMMUNITY OF WEST AFRICAN STATES ( ECOWAS)with Headquarters in Lome, Togo.

 

My name is Mr micheal odum. The only son  of (Late Mr Edward odum) Who lost his life in the course of political crisis here in Cote D'ivoire  on his way to work.

SOB – SOB SOB – so many relatives of so many dead people asking me for help – I'm truly amazed [NOT] and such non-use of CAPS
 
My father willed in cash, the sum of $7.6Million  US Dollars  which he deposited in Bank in but there was

there was what? you forgot to finish your cut and paste properly
 
(1) That upon request for the release of the fund, there must be evidence of investment intentions,
 
(2) To invest this fund in solid business,Such as manufactures factory or company,Real Estates,or agriculture investment

If you were so keen on ME [you know calling me DEAR] – did you even look to see what my business is?  Of course not – you send the same crapola to everyone whose email you buy.
 
I contact you therefore to confirm if you can absorb me in a partnership in your company or possibly advise me on any investment opportunity in your country.  we shall reach an agreement, that you will stand on my behalf and claim this very Fund from the Bank
 
and transfer it into your account there in your country. and after all I will come over to your country to finish my education and commence business partnership with you and the fund.

I don't absorb just anyone into partnerships – I'm quite picky that way.  As for all the rest of the above – LOL

Awaiting your urgent response

Right
 
Best regards,
 
Mr micheal odum

I deleted his phone number