Written By Lynn Dorman, Ph.D. | Musings | 0 Comments
It’s THAT time of the year — again [sigh]
My inbox and social media feeds are filled with mail/posts selling me on the advantages of:
Except for the AI which is sort of new this year — the posting and the emails are the same every December and January.
But last year some of it started back earlier in the Fall because everyone knows:
“I have to get your attention about January 2024 in the middle of the summer or early fall or else you won't buy my product.”
It’s fine if you do the above - and even better if making resolutions works for you…
I no longer make them.
I used to.
I’d read a lot of that “how to succeed” stuff, that “guru” stuff, that “my friends say this works” stuff, and would make a list of what I would accomplish in the upcoming year….
Then at some point during the year, I’d look at my resolution list and laugh [or cry] as so little of it ever got done! Or done with any degree of consistency.
So I stopped making New Year resolutions. It seemed to not be good for my mental health OR my productivity. My brain doesn't like lists!!
I've discovered that I am not alone. Many, if not most, people did not follow theirs either.
Especially these:
"I am going to exercise every day” resolution or “I am going to lose X pounds this year” or “I am going to lose 5 pounds a month.”
And work-related resolutions?
The “I will write a post a day,” or “I will write a book before Summer,” or I will do X by Y time frame.
Ditto the very popular “I will be making $XXX a month by the end of March or April” type of resolution.
These resolutions generally do not work.
Why? We tend to set impossible resolutions or standards for ourselves. They are often more wishful thinking than actual planned-out behaviors. Not sticking to these resolutions may make us feel like failures so early in the new year, and yes, the ad people play into this guilt.
Watch ads early in the year and note those aimed at making us feel guilt and shame over NOT keeping resolutions. They may not be direct, but they are aimed at guilt making!!
With two major professional degrees and several accolades, I know I am not a failure.
I actually CAN and DO accomplish things - but I have ceased the resolution-type thinking and adopted a more casual approach to my life. It took some hard work on my part to re-think the business/life model that keeps telling us we “need” to make a yearly, monthly, daily plan… or else!
Opting for the “or else” works for me!
Every choice can be the “correct way!"
I now enjoy late December/early January as we get an added minutes of daylight every afternoon.
I use this light/dark scenario to reflect, have fun, and think about my work - but not make any of this into resolutions,
to-do lists, or anything tightly scheduled!
I do a non-journal kind of journaling
I call it my mental meandering but it’s more like a brain dump. This is one activity I do most every day but without the “I must do it” kind of thinking, so I often don't do this. And that’s okay!
Apple has made this easier for me as they released a journal app and I have started using that app - but still not every day - I figure a few days a week [maybe] works for me.
One month ago I was still depressed about losing my two pets…but I decided that giving a forever home to some kittens this winter would help all of us be happier.
And we are !!
Here they are – one month after that adoption.
Comments? Thank you – and I'll read them to Sassy and Smokie 🙂
Do you make resolutions? Do they work for you? Or if not - what do you do - if anything? Please comment below and thank you for reading.
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