During the recent health care "debate" many touted the healthy system in the USA a being "the best in the world."  It is not!

Look at our current child mortality rates. 

The USA lags behind many Asian nations and even Cuba.

In fact, the USA stands worldwide at 49.  That is a number to NOT  be proud of because it means we are not taking care of children and pregnant women.

And worse – is that we have dropped to that 49th spot from a 29th place spot.

And on top of this, we also learn that  child gun deaths are as common in rural areas as in urban areas.

So much for the myth that children far better far away from cities.

We seem not to take of our children – period!

Comments? 

Every child needs a quacker for an alarm clock – don't they? 

If you miss having one in your backyard, come visit ours

My neighbor, Doug, fed this duck once and the duck has returned every day  and quacks at Doug's house for more food.

And as Doug lives right next to me, I too am serenaded every day.

Also – the ducks are not afraid of my cat or dog [more on cat and ducks in another video]

[cross posted with some minor changes from gray wolf productions

Please comment below…thank you

Graco high chairs recalled

The flaw in Harmony High Chairs can result in a child falling. Atlanta-based Graco acted after receiving 464 reports of screws loosening or falling out, resulting in at least 24 injuries including bumps and bruises to the head and a hairline arm fracture, the commission said in a statement today.

Graco recalled 1.2 million highchairs after screws loosened, and children fell and got hurt. 

Read the full article about the high chair recall and if you have one in your home, you can order a free repair kit by calling (877) 842-3206 or visiting the Web site www.gracobaby.com.

then come back here and leave a comment – thanks

Poop? Toilets?  Yes it is a scatological title…but I need to get your attention and if you’ve read this far I succeeded.

In my years of being a professor, therapist and/or friend – I have been asked so many times about toilet training that I almost scream.  It would have been better to ask each person for a dollar…then I’d be extremely wealthy.  Yes – I did answer them all but I never wrote down what I said…

So here am I years later, still getting questions about toilet training and still thinking about a good answer.  It finally came to me: you have to decide whose poop it is and whose pee it is!  Then you will be able to choose what comes next: your toilet training or your child’s.

Read the entire article about toilet training

Many years ago I wrote a textbook called Growing Children. 

My co-author, Freda Rebelsky, and I had often been asked how people could get copies as it is out of print.  So over the years, we tried to interest some publishers in re-printing it but there was no interest.  Maybe because it was a paperbound book and only 70 pages of text… [read this as "can't sell for $100."]

So  I decided to redo it in  a different format and with a different focus – it is NOT a text book; it is a book mostly for parents and is now called:

You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids

I also think of it as child psychology for the non-psychology major….for the parent, the high school student, the engineer, the CEO, the HR person etc…anyone who wants information without the list and review of the studies that led up to the information.

That is what Growing Children was originally intended to be – it was a small textbook on child development for the non-psychology major and now it is an e-book with a different name for anyone who wants to know about child development…

And you can buy it on this page:

You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids

PS…writing a textbook was a bit easier – when I   nearing the end of a textbook I sent the manuscript to the publisher who did the formatting, editing, and marketing.  Now I had to do all that [with a little help] and it took longer than I planned [sigh]

But it is DONE!

That may sound like an oddball question but we need to ask it.  Are children just smaller versions of adults?  Are children just good imitators of the "adult-ness" around them?

Many years ago the above two questions would get a resounding "yes" or a strong "maybe." 

Next time you are at a museum look at the old masters paintings of families – the children are dressed in adult-like clothing and their proportions are adult-like. 

Newborn baby – note the large head!

Did the early artists "see" a small head when painting – or was it such a prevalent attitude that the artist intentionally "missed" the actual size of the child's head and body in order to appease the family paying for the painting.

Children being seen as something almost entirely different from adults was not a viable notion until the early part of the 1900's – not that long ago.  Yet there are persons today who think children have no ideas of their own and are molded solely by what their parents do to and for them.

Children are different.  Yes they are the same species as the adults who raise them – but how they function;  how they learn, think, and talk follows that child's path of development.  And it's not an adult path.

The way you "see" children affects how you raise them.

There is more about this thought in my forthcoming e-book:

You Can Totally Screw Up As A Mom And Still Raise Great Kids

Coming soon!  Stay tuned for details!

I am a firm believer that few adults would want to re-do their teen years.

If you are one who would like to re-do them – AS THEY WERE – please please add a comment and tell us why.

The years where your age ends in "teen" are given different labels by different theorists; labels like adolescence, pre-adult, puberty, and one I like – "normal psychosis."

No matter what it is called, we as a species need to evolve through those 7 years.  Not that 12 and 20 are always so great but we don't tend to put kids that age into the category teen.  [By the way, I usually say "kid." It's a habit from way back when I first started studying psychology.]

The teen years tend to be ushered in by hormonal changes – which in turn lead to physical changes and all of this is accompanied by emotional, cognitive and social change.  Just like with 2- and 3-year-olds coping with an awful lot of changes – a teen seeks a variety of ways to deal with what is going on in their body.  A major difference is that 2 and 3-year-olds are still under parental control while teens are not- or not as much as we as parents would like.  They are in school, they often travel there and elsewhere without the car pool or parent.  They learn to drive – and like it or not – they experiment with "things."

"Things" can include not only drugs, alcohol and sex; it can include personality, academic interests, and sports.  It's a period where the once "child" is learning "who am I"  and "what do I want me to be."

This self-learning can lead to sudden mood and personality shifts – some intentional, some probably hormonal -  it's why I say about having a teen in the house:   Welcome to "normal psychosis." 

This is life with a teen … and I'll be writing more about this – so please comment and let me know what you'd like to see here.

I was reminded the other day about young children and Halloween.  Many do not like the costumes. Why?  Because for young children the line between fantasy and reality is not a clear line.

For young children, seeing IS believing, so you can start to think about what goes on in the child's mind on Halloween with all it's costumes.

Maybe it goes like this: "If I put on a mouse costume then I AM a mouse and then I'm not John anymore and that's scary."

Children get upset when parents put on eyeglasses or change hair styles.  "Maybe you are NOT my parent – but some other person."

Halloween is not a fun thing until you are old enough to know about object constancy….until then, changing visions may mean the object has really changed.

So if your young child does not want to wear a costume – there is a good cognitive reason. 

Parenting teenagers is a difficult topic.  No one can tell you how to be a parent; especially of a teenager. 

[ Read the full article about parenting teenagers.]

Like teens, parents are not amenable to listening to other people – at least not usually. 

If someone tells you that you need to be a stricter parent or to spend more or less time with your teenager when you do not believe this is the way to parent – would you listen to them?

That said – teens need rules.  Teens do not need more and more freedom even though that is what they tell you they need and want. 

As a parent you need to set limits for all your kids – they bump against the limits and fight them but that is a good thing.  It's how they learn what are the rules for our culture.  If you keep moving the limits as kids bang against them – they never understand limits.  Kids are very good at the "gimme gimme gimme" game and it is perfectly fine to say "no no no" to them.

I never said it was easy having a teen in the house – in fact it can be downright nasty.